“Keep creating in me a clean heart. Fill me with pure thoughts and holy desires, ready to please you.”

Psalms 51:10 (TPT)

I’m ashamed to admit it, but I’ve been a little bit grumpy lately. Well, maybe a lot. But with all due respect, these past eight weeks have been more chaotic and more challenging than I can ever remember. I could go into details, but you’ll just have to trust me. And it seems like the tide just keeps crashing in.

I feel like King Nebuchadnezzar when he was in the wilderness being humbled by the Lord (Daniel 4:28-37), and how he was driven from society to live in the fields, eat grass like cows, grow hair as long as eagles’ feathers and nails like birds’ claws. Although I’m thankful that I haven’t grown feathers, I do feel like I’ve been wandering in the fields, isolated from people (honestly most days just from exhaustion), and have grown claws in my heart that has pierced not only me, but others with my words. The nourishment God’s given me each day, although sustaining, I feel like I’ve chewed up and spit out like cud. My chaos has seemed to have a bigger hold on me than the loving Presence of Jesus. And it all just seemed to happen so fast!

Sound familiar, anyone? I know I’m not alone in this, but it doesn’t mean it’s ok. Living in the Spirit means that we rely on His wisdom to know what battles to pick, what words will please Him, and where best to focus our time. Living in the Spirit means humbling our hearts to allow His peace and order to dictate our lives, rather than letting our emotions and our stress lead us to wander.

I am thankful though that each day is a new day. That God continues to pursue us, that he continues to humble us, and never ceases to clip off the claws we’ve created to make room for healthier growth.

We all will wander into the wilderness sometimes, and we will all probably get a little bit grumpy too.

But it’s not until “we raise our eyes towards heaven that our sanity will be restored” (Daniel 4:34). We have to come to the point of humble confession and submit our hearts back to God. He’s the only one that can make sense out of our confusion, restore our peace, and clean up the mess we have created.

It’s a hard thing to recognize, and even harder to acknowledge, that it’s not our circumstances that keep us grumpy. It may be easier to allow our circumstances to excuse it, but it’s really just our stubborness of not allowing God to be the Ruler of our hearts.

Are you a little bit grumpy today? If so, be thankful that God is pursuing you and ready to create in you a clean heart (again). May His loving Presence instill in you a cheerful response that is ready to praise and please Him.

#SaturdaySoulSearch