Yesterday I encountered  the meanest man I’ve ever known. It wasn’t even a face to face encounter, but after 40 minutes, I was left feeling humiliated, degraded, defeated, and broke down. I’ve never had someone suck my humanity out of me quite like he did. And it wasn’t necessarily the words he said, but the way he treated me. Degrading me for being a woman. Disregarding my usefulness as a human being. Manipulating truth to gain power. If y’all know me well, you know I’m a hard gal to take down, but this guy did it in the first 5 minutes. 

And as I understand the dynamics of the situation, it still hurt. And it still sucked my confident spirit right out of me, leaving me in a cycle of faulting myself…even though I had done nothing wrong. He might call it putting me in my place. But my friends, it’s called abuse. Plain and simple. And it took hours of struggling through tears last night before I finally acknowledged that. 

I was lucky though. I was able to walk away. My tears then began to flow for those who live with abuse every single day. I’ve been an advocate for domestic abuse for many years. Educated in the cycles of and versed on intervention. But I had never experienced it. I never knew how suffocating the situation really is. How completely demoralized you become so quickly. I didn’t know this man. I didn’t love this man. I didn’t share children with this man. I could walk away. But so many can’t get away so easy. 

My broken spirit only resulted in a few hours of soul reflection. So many others result in broken dreams and broken lives. For this I deeply grieve. 

This puts a whole new twist on my well versed intervention script. One that will take a while to process. But for now, I’ll leave you with this – If you are living with abuse, get help. It’s not your fault! If you are the abuser, get help. It’s available for you too! 

There is freedom! There is hope! There is help! You don’t have to live it alone. 

1-800-799-SAFE (7233) Domestic Abuse Hotline 

“Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go!”

Joshua 1:9